


On the Origin of Creation

by NerdOnDuty



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Agender Character, Aziraphale: guardian of literature and sneks, Genderqueer Character, History, I mean, M/M, Other, Queer Themes, Slow Burn, no beta reader we die like men, they do take a modest 6000 years to work things out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 17:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19278016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdOnDuty/pseuds/NerdOnDuty
Summary: You are God. You are Everything, and there is nothing besides you. And thus, after an eternity of eternities, you decide to play around a bit. You create the Heavenly Host, which is lovely right up until it develops a Host of Heavenly Opinions. Once those are popular, it all goes a bit fallen-pear-shaped. But we all know that story.Eventually, you create a New One and call him Aziraphale. He doesn't seem to care much for glorious wars, preferring instead to spend his time singing and wandering. He's your last one. Ever.Then, there is he who would become Crowley, who makes his way downstairs more or less on his own. He still prays to you sometimes, though, which you're quite touched by, to your own surprise.You resolve to give him an out and assign young Aziraphale to guard the new humans, whom he seems far more interested in than any of his fellows above.Crowley will come for the tree, of course.The rest should follow on its own.





	1. T +0

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me at nerd-on-duty.tumblr.com :)  
> I'm also making a playlist for this, give me a heads up in the comments if you'd be interested in it (or want to see a specific song in it).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (No idea when I'll finish this. No, not entirely from God's perspective. Just the Beginning.)

**In the Beginning**

 

_I do not play dice with the universe. But, perhaps, the thought of me playing with it at all are disturbing to you. Imagine as follows: you are a being out of time, out of space, with nothing to do, or see, or hear, or feel, or smell, or taste, or… Ah, where were we?_

_Right. Creation._

_So, you are God. You are Everything, and there is nothing besides you. And thus, after an eternity of eternities, you decide to play around a bit. It works. Somewhat. It's fun, at least. It does go out with a bang, after a while, so you try again. This time, it lasts a bit longer. And after that, a bit longer still. In fact, it lasts 1•10 1000 years. I know, that means nothing to you. It's a long time. _

_On your, oh, maybe the fifth, or maybe the fifth billionth try, you decide not to start from the very beginning all over again. Watching primordial soup congeal has somewhat lost its appeal. So you cut some corners, and give the current universe a boost. Set the existence of atoms as a given. It's more fun. You get to the explosions faster._

_The next time, you set the bonding of atoms as a given. After that, planets. That one is even more fun._

_Eventually, you've cut so many corners, you've boiled the age of the universe from 1•10 1000 years down to just 1•10100. _

_It's like watching a short film. (Your attention span isn't what it used to be.)_

_So you pick a new project. You zoom all the way in to a random planet, and get to micromanaging. It's even better. At this level, your atoms eventually clump together to form something new: life. You love it. It goes on and on, on legs and wings and other things, until it eventually destroys itself._

_Well. One of them destroys all the others. You're a bit ticked off._

_So, you try again. And again. And again._

_But every time one of them gets far enough to walk among the stars, it commits intergalactic murder-suicide. You go back to the explosions for a while, but they're not as fun as they used to be._

_So, you decide, maybe they need some guidance to mellow out._

_You create the Heavenly Host, and suddenly, you understand their murderous urges much better._

_The Heavenly Host is lovely right up until it develops a Host of Heavenly Opinions. Once those are popular, it all goes a bit fallen-pear-shaped._

_Lucifer kick-starts a rebellion, Michael kick-starts a counter-rebellion, and, while no one is watching, Gabriel pushes not yet fully formed Zohel off a cloud. It's a proper mess._

_You have to kick one of them out before they all kill each other, so you give Lucifer a new place and a new job. Maybe he'll appreciate your efforts more when he has to manage his own bunch of winged morons. (Not really, but it was worth a try.)_

_To balance the scales, you also take Michael's sword and give her a new purpose, but the old battle-instincts never really go away._

_You create a new one, for the sword, and call him Aziraphale. He doesn't seem to care much for the basis of his existence, preferring instead to spend his time singing and wandering. Well. No one's died of that yet._

_He's your last one. Ever._

_You do pick Zohel back up, but he eventually makes his way downstairs more or less on his own. He's always been an odd one out, upstairs, and to his dismay he doesn't fit in any better downstairs. He still prays to you sometimes, though, which you're quite touched by, to your own surprise._

_You resolve to give him an out and assign young Aziraphale to guard the new humans, whom he seems far more interested in than any of his fellows above._

_Zohel will come for the tree, of course._

_The rest should follow on its own._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm perfectly aware the original beginning is humorous, but I'm a scientist and the 6000 years thingy bothered me more than I'd like to admit... so this opens with that mysterious joke we haven't gotten in on yet.


	2. T +21

**The Garden of Eden, 4004 B.C.**

 

Adam and Eve weren't the first humans Aziraphale had to...  _kindly escort_ out of the garden.

She didn't make it into the Bible, though she could be found elsewhere. Her name was Lilith.

 

Thinking back on it now, Aziraphale suspects half the reason he gave his sword to Adam and Eve in the first place was because he regretted not having thought to do something for Lilith before them.* *(Unlike them, Lilith hadn’t looked like she needed it, but it still felt wrong to just stare at her retreating form.)

See, the first time Aziraphale had seen Lilith and Adam, they were wee babes, just a few moments old. Like all human children after them, they were small, soft and helpless; cuddled up together, blinking up at the angel with big eyes full of wonder. They grew up well in the Garden, nurtured by God and protected by angels.

Adam was a quiet child. Well-behaved, for the most part, always hiding behind Lilith on the few occasions he did get into trouble. But Lilith… Lilith was an enigma. Quickly, she grew very tall and strong, all hard edges; her mental fortitude similarly substantial. She got bored of almost everything in the Garden within the first few years of her life, took it apart and put it back together again, only to take it apart once more. Aziraphale ought to have seen it coming. The Garden was too small for her.

She wasn't _evil,_ like Adam would later convince himself. She simply didn't listen to anyone.

She left when she was fully grown, and never turned back. From what he heard, she wrestled with the lions for fun, climbed the mountains and swam in the seas, no fear of the pain that Adam and Eve later bore as a curse. Eventually, she must have found Samael somehow. Perhaps she climbed the Heavens as well.

When God later created Eve from Adam, this time as a fully formed adult, it was almost like She had simply decided to make her Lilith's complementary opposite. Where Lilith had been a tall and bulky figure, Eve was short and round. Lilith's headstrong nature gave way to Eve's keen attentiveness. Between the two of them, Adam's personality was easily overlooked.

 

Mankind’s fall was dreadfully loud, even to Aziraphale. The Almighty’s irate voice rang out across the Garden and the plains beyond with unbearable intensity, and indeed, it was most probably Her Grace, and not Her volume control that kept Adam and Eve’s eardrums intact. Aziraphale did his very best not to listen, of course, but both decorum and ignorance are a rather difficult thing to maintain when you are an angel finely attuned to God, who is currently rather aggrieved.

After, it was dreadfully silent.

Adam and Eve were banished from the garden and the snake cursed to be their eternal enemy, unable to truly hide from humanity ever again.

Aziraphale was tasked with the actual Banishing, which felt like a punishment of his own if he was to be honest, although he was unsure exactly what he had done wrong.

He didn’t linger on it. Couldn’t linger on it. Something was about to break out, and he hadn’t done anything for Lilith, and he was going to be dam-

Well, hopefully he _wasn’t_ going to be, but - But.

It went over too quickly, and when it was done, he returned to his post on the wall. He stared at humanity's retreating backs once more, and fretted.

 

"Well," the serpent’s voice said, out of nowhere. Aziraphale startled. "That went down like a lead balloon."

The serpent’s name, he found out, was Crawly, and he was similarly concerned about having done the wrong - the right - the thing he wasn’t ordered to do.

It was good to have _someone_ , to talk to about it. Gabriel would have never let him hear the end of it, if he went to him with this. No, Crawly was surprisingly cordial for someone of the… opposition. The questioning didn’t help, because Aziraphale’s desperate attempts at reconstructing whatever approximation of the Almighty’s Will he could fathom toppled over like the Tower of Babel later would whenever Crawly opened his mouth. He was in the middle of explaining, rather helplessly, that if a demon did something, it must be bad by definition and therefore could not be Good, even if it looked like it might have been good, when the temperature dropped. Above, the first thunderstorm darkened the sky.

The serpent shuffled closer to the angel, and the angel, without thinking, extended his wing over his newfound ~~enemy~~ ~~friend~~ opponent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm still alive.  
> Planning to actually finish this, fingers crossed.  
> Chapters are all planned out, but alas, I am a fickle creature, so I can't promise weekly updates.


End file.
